julierichmond

Tonight, I’d like to tell you that sometimes I wonder if I made the right choice when I left Quincy College.

I’d love to describe what it’s like at my new job, at Massachusetts College of Pharmacy and Health Science, how it feels to have an office, with a door, and that sunflowers became my favorite flowers when I found them on my desk that first day.

I want to tell you about this summer- how awesome it was to spend time with Kate, without the shadow of Colin, in the next room or just upstairs, barking into the phone or playing video games with the volume all the way up. He was at home for a year and a half, on house arrest, because someone found a large quantity of pot in his apartment.

Since he’s been gone, I text him a few times a week. I answer his calls, even if I’m in the shower or with a student.

I set out today with my friend Alison for a final dip at Nantasket, even though the forecast called for scattered showers. When the downpour started, we both turned around and headed to Derby Street, for some mediocre mussels and a decent cucumber Margarita.

I’m grateful I had time with Alison, she was one of my best friends at QC. I like the sweater I bought at Kohls. I am coming to terms that we probably won’t go to the beach again until next year, unless it’s to watch the dogs play in the water, while we shiver on the boardwalk and wonder if summer will ever come around again.

I’d like to share what it feels like to throw my body in front of a wave and be lifted for a second or two before landing, sometimes on my feet, sometimes on my ass, when it’s done. It takes a long, long time to get used to water temperatures of 58 to 65 degrees. It can take a half an hour, at least ,with the numb all the way up my body until, slowly, my toes and my knees wake, my muscles unclench. The water feels cold and glorious, but it takes time and patience. A person shouldn’t go to the beach in Massachusetts if they are on tight schedule, unless they usually swim in Maine, where the water is much colder. I liked thinking about swimming in the ocean, tonight, while I wrote this.

It amazes me what me body and soul can get used to, when I take my time. This can be both glorious and dangerous, if you think about it.

The summer, we spent a lot of time at the beach, walking the dogs, or putting off things that need to be done.

Last week, I made a list-

Our dishwasher leaks, the ice maker is on strike, and both our cars have check engine lights blazing, 80 percent of the time.

My laptop won’t connect to the internet. My watch won’t connect to my phone.

The new espresso machine makes lousy espresso.

I just spent a half an hour in the park after dark because the dogs really needed the space and the cool night air.

It’s been hot. Or I’m cold, in a house or an office with the air conditioner dripping rivers outside the window and frost from the vents.

There has not been much time for reflection or even group exercise classes.

But there is enough for yoga in the living room, with Chanel climbing my leg Bernadette sprawling under my plank, and Jack climbing Chanel.

There is enough time for phone calls to the people I love who are far, and a walk or a meal with the people I love who are close.

There is time for sleep, and a few minutes of a an ancient Pat Conroy novel just before.

There will be time, soon enough, to deal with the ice maker, the Buick, and the lack of lattes. My priorities are different than they used to be.

I’m looking forward to tomorrow, and tomorrow is Monday, so I’d say my life is pretty damn good.