julierichmond

     I don’t know where Colin’s obsession with beta fish came from. One day he was obsessed with the NFL and NBA, the next he was going to Petco’s website and telling me about special tanks, strategies for breeding, and gory details about what happens when two males are in the same tank. 

     School is starting in less than a week. There are backpacks and bluejeans to buy. There is the beginning of football season. The return of homework. His phone needs to be turned on and his hair needs to be cut. And all he wants to talk about are fish. Betta fish.

     So today on our way home from camp, we took a field trip to Petco. There must have been hundreds of bettas, all swimming in their own plastic containers, about the size of small soup bowls. There were betta babies, betta girls, betta boys, double tailed, single tailed, every neon color that ever twinkled at  Christmastime . Some were sluggish, some were frantic, and some just looked bored. 

     Colin looked at me, his sister Katy looked at me. But I was prepared for the guilt, I’d left my wallet in the car. And now, whatever crazy obsession he has was transferred to me. I’m sitting here when I should be leafing thru circulars and weighing out the merits of binders versus folders. I’m sitting here and all I can do is think about bettas. And write about the fact I’m thinking about bettas.

     You know, it’s been a while since we’ve had salmon for dinner. 

     I don’t want to think about food, I’m getting rid of my- it’s too hot to cook, let’s just order pizza- belly. So I’ll go back to thinking about bettas. I heard they are a lot cheaper if you buy them online. Shopping for bettas must be even more relaxing, soothing and life changing than simply pondering the little fish. 

     I’ll let you know.

Just after the kids finally sleep, there is that moment I realize I will not hear “mom, can you shut out my light, ” “don’t forget to wake me up 15 minutes early,” “what was that, you are watching tv without us?!”. When the stillness settles around me, I begin my life without them. And yet they are there, in those moments just after. I listen for footsteps, or doors, I don’t want to get caught by my kids doing what I do in the hours I have sent them to sleep.
I go to an “inappropriate site”on the internet and hope not to get busted. If the phone rings, I answer it like I’m asleep. When I snack, I wash out the bowl and wipe counters.
I’m not up to anything yet, just by living a life after they sleep, I feel like I’m cheating.
Just being online, or reading a novel or sipping tea at 11:05 feels like a forbidden pleasure.
Before I had kids, I had to work so much harder for that sense- this is bad, therefore it must be-feel-taste really good. Now, all I have to is be awake after they sleep and watching something HBO.
I’m such a dangerous girl.

Dinner time

     I left my phone/ipod at home so during the dog walk I had time to think my own thoughts. Probably not a great thing, for a little while I was playing around with a poem that used the words “butterfly” and “matchstick” broken into pieces, nouns and verbs, very symbolic, Sophie didn’t like it one little bit.
     Next I pondered how quickly the month of July and the first half of August has passed. Before I had a chance to finish that thought, I was turning the key in the ignition. In an attempt to make the evening last a little longer, to put off turning into my driveway and turning my attention to tomorrow’s lunches and laundry, I watched the sun set before turning left. I stopped at the yellow light and smiled at an old man in the crosswalk.

     Tonight we went to see Billy Elliot, a musical that touched on a man trying to take care of his child at a cost of a huge moral sacrifice. By the time the kids were in bed it was 11:15, to late to find a union line to cross and I didn’t think Colin would appreciate it if I woke him up ask if he’d like a kidney.
     So I set to work on cleaning the kitchen. Why do I have 4 opened and barely used c

Welcome to WordPress.com! This is your very first post. Click the Edit link to modify or delete it, or start a new post. If you like, use this post to tell readers why you started this blog and what you plan to do with it.

Happy blogging!