Snowy Night, Teenagers, Tomorrow Morning
January 24, 2016
Mostly, I’ve gotten used to Saturday nights with a book or some work, cooking for one, resigned myself to being the only person that feeds the cats and walks Sophie the Dog who Loves Summer.
I have teenagers.
It’s good they have friends and places to go and that, more often than not, friends parents to drive them. I’m grateful.
I enjoy nibbling on cereal while reading a book, skipping to the gym without a thought of what’s left in the oven, listening to the music really loud without someone pointing out that I’m a hypocrite because that someone is always asked to turn down his really loud music. I pay the mortgage, and I have better taste.
I’m prepared for what comes next- the leaving, the migration out into the world and the cost of college. (Emotionally, I’m think I’m prepared for the cost of college. Financially, not even close.)
Mostly.
But tonight there’s snow and wind and dire warnings from the weatherman.
I roasted a turkey and found the gloves and dusted off the shovel.
They haven’t been home.
I ate a leg while I played candy crush. I listened Hamilton- the new hip hop musical everyone’s talking about and read the reviews because I couldn’t decide how much I liked it.
A lot.
I miss them more than anything and as soon as one of them walks in the door I’ll say something about laundry or homework or why are you late because I’m mad they haven’t missed me at all.
I need to start writing a novel, take up adult coloring, (yeah, that’ll happen. I didn’t color when I was 3) or adopt a dog that likes cold weather.
A few flakes- my heart feels as hollow as the house.
This just in- They are on the way home.
Tomorrow, there will be pancakes and arguments about who loads the dishwasher.
Tonight, I’m going to let the clean clothes stay on the stairs and the boots stay in the hall.
It’s the first snowstorm of 2016 and they’re on their way home.
I’d make cocoa but I think that would scare them away, they respond to kind gestures like wild deer, they scatter out the backdoor or upstairs to their rooms with body language that reads- what do you want from me? It is not currently in my nature to spend time with you.
So I will just welcome them home, and brush their hair out of their eyes, and ask them if they’d like me to throw their clothes in the dryer.
Sometimes bad weather makes the world feel lonely, don’t you think?
Stay warm.
Winter in New England or I Really, Really Need to Get To the Gym
February 6, 2015
My son was due at a game at 8, so we left at 7:30. The Parish where his team plays is only a mile away, but he wanted Gatorade and I wanted to take my time.
When I tried to pull out of the driveway, I got stuck in a snow drift. I gunned the engine. I spun the wheel. I tried to reverse. I spun the wheel. I snarled at Colin to get out of the car and “do something.”
He hopped out, ran to my side of the car, watched my wheel spin in mountain of ice and more ice, thru his hands up in the air.
I told him to get back in the car.
Well, I didn’t tell him anything. I think I honked, twice.
He got in, eyes looked straight forward. I gunned the engine, hit reverse, thru the car into drive and somehow, something somewhere gave. The car rocked forward, then shot back, straight into a snow bank six feet high.
I put my foot on the gas, and we lurched forward towards the gas station, toward the church, toward all the other mini vans shuttling their boys to the game on a night that really should have seen everyone home wearing flannel or footsie pajamas.
I said- “Colin, you gotta believe in me. I’m a complete bad ass!”
I had broken a wall of snow and ice. I had conquered my minivan and made it my b^&*ch.
“Mom, bad asses don’t tell people their bad asses.”
All of the sudden, there I was.- a suburban mom in a 2008 Dodge Caravan with an unfortunate predilection for listening to Eminem at the gym.
I dropped him off and wished him luck.
So maybe driving in the snow doesn’t make me tough.
But I got him to his game on time. And I didn’t bang my fists on the steering wheel, or curse New England in February or try to run over a squirrel.
So maybe I’m not a bad ass.
But this winter has made me fierce as hell.
Bring. It. On.
julierichmond 